Tag Archives: Top Chef Washington

Titanic Musings….Part Deux

Titanic Musings…Part Deux

Some have emailed asking if I oppose the Titanic expedition. No, it does have scientific merit. From news accounts it appears Premiere Exhibitions has tried to woo a lot of skeptics (skeptics because they have misgivings about salvage and the company’s handling of artifacts) to go on the expedition. Actual salvage is over; the company made it clear in its court filings to get the salvage award. So it is simply trying to massage its public image by sponsoring a scientific expedition. The reason is simple: the salvage award. They know that a lot of folks out there dislike salvaging Titanic. Many will be displeased the company will be able to sell the artifacts. So I see the expedition as simply trying to buy some goodwill.

On Top Chef: Washington I got some emails criticizing my viewpoint. I stand by the assertion this is a dull season with no one standing out. Sure it is easy to see the weak ones but hard to like any of the stronger ones either for a variety of reasons. As for the pea puree, I am not convinced Alex would need to steal or misplace Ed’s since he made his own (Tom C. said he talked to others who saw him make it). Everyone focuses on Alex forgetting that the culprit could be someone else. If we assume it was stolen or purposely mislaid, one of the other cheftestants who saw Ed as a threat may have done it with a bonus of fingering Alex. The Triple K’S (Kelly, Kevin, Kenny) all ganged up on Alex at Judges’ Table and in the stew room. It is possible the anger against Alex was ramped up by the guilty party.

One blogger wondered whether any of the cheftestants will be memorable. In past years some competitors (like Fabio or Sam) continue to be remembered by fans. In this case, it seems to be a season where the competitors will struggle to be remembered once the show is over.

Titanic Musings

Titanic Musings And Other Things

I took a break for a needed vacation and catching up on Titanic news and recordings in my DVR.

1) The Grand Expedition
Call the press, contact cable and network shows for booking, and get lots of video coverage about the sorry state of a wreck two miles down. We will fill the ship with historians, scientists, and other interesting people to comment on the state of the wreck. Get that? It is about the decay rate of the wreck as if we did not know already that nature is consuming the wreck. Sure there is scientific interest in finding out the decay rate, how organisms two miles down operate, and lots of other technical stuff. If that was it was about, it would be a special edition of National Geographic Explorer. If they wanted zing, bring any or all of the following from the Travel Channel: Anthony Bourdain, Andrew Zimmern, Samantha Brown, and the guy who yells. Otherwise I suspect it is a yawner and just to create positive buzz for Premiere Exhibitions and its subsidiary, RMS Titanic Inc perhaps because.…

2) Salvage Verdict Comes Down in Their Favor
What wonderful coincidence! Federal Judge Rebecca Beach Smith finally issues after what seems a millennia, her ruling on the salvage award. Issued just before the Grand Expedition, she rules they are entitled to compensation and sets the value of the artifacts at $110 million. What is left to be determined is how they will get compensated The easiest–and most controversial–would be to give them the artifacts. RMS Titanic, Inc would then be free to sell the artifacts to museums, collectors and other interested parties. The predictable howl from the anti-salvage crowd will be loud if this occurs. Long ago the pro and anti salvage crowd on the Internet got into heated flamewars resulting in Titanic enthusiasts hating each other. It split the Titanic community into rival camps and still does when the topic comes up. One the other hand, Judge Smith could award them the artifacts on the condition they only be sold to museums and recognized exhibitors. The other option is for the court to hold the sale and distribute the proceeds.

There are lots of legal issues that have to be worked out and that will take time. It is also possible others will file appeals to overturn the decision or seek the court to modify its decision in some way. Stay tuned!

3) Titanic Cliche Overload
Far too many politicians, commentators, and others use the Titanic Cliche so much as make one wonder if they ever attended a literature or writing class.

4) Top Chef Washington is Top Chef Boring
Who stole the pea puree? Okay think about that for a second. If the most exciting thing on this show is whether or not a cheftestant stole a pea puree, we have a problem. It seems no one liked this chap very much and quickly labeled him a thief. It became clear that when Kevin, Kenny, Kelly and Amanda were the losing team in Restaurant War when Kenny opened his mouth complaining that Alex did nothing (though on the winning team). It looked petty and foolish considering what the judges told them. Kevin’s dish was excellent, Kenny did two dishes that failed, Kelly did a watery soup they disliked but saved herself on dessert, and Amanda botched cooking the beef. All in all pretty bad. Kenny’s goat cheese dessert was reviled by the judges (Frank Bruni’s look when he tasted it was classic). Kenny got the boot since as executive chef he was in charge, put out two bad dishes, and allowed other bad dishes to go out.

For the most part this show is forgettable and looks tired. From reading the various postings elsewhere, this season is not generating that much great buzz despite being in Washington D.C. Last season saw some great cooking and really top notch competitors. This season seems to have lackluster (by comparison to previous seasons excluding Season Two which was pretty bad) cheftestants and no one really to get interested in winning. More interested in watching who screws up and place bets on who goes home each week. Otherwise watching repeats of Mythbusters is better, funny, and educational all at the same time (and yes they have tackled some food myths along the way).

5) Titanic 2
Yes, it is true that there is a movie by that name. Suffice to say it has gone straight to the bottom as predicted. They ought to have made it high camp instead or turned it soft porn with Pamela Anderson bouncing about.

6) A Titanic Christmas
Two words that ought not go together: Titanic and Christmas. One is a terrible tragedy and the other a religious celebration. So when a press release was sent out over the web (alas I did not get it being a lowly blogger) announcing a Titanic themed Christmas in Pigeon Forge, I wondered if it was a spoof. Not so it seems. According to the release:

“Christmas in a Winter Wonderland” runs November 13-January 1, 2011. Co-owner, Mary Kellogg-Joslyn plans to pull out all the stops to make her Titanic’s first holidays in Pigeon Forge, memorable. First, there will be $150,00 in snow equipment (the same equipment used to make it show every Christmas at Walt Disney World’s Magic Kingdom). Secondly, $100,000 will be spent on Christmas trees, holiday lights and ornamentation throughout the interior and exterior of the museum. There will also be carolers and other musical events. While the holiday celebration will be elaborate, the owners plan to hold true to their idea of the importance of telling the stories of the Titanic’s passengers and crew.”

Some will criticize it but in the end the consumer will decide whether the gamble pays off or not.

7) Dodgeball with a Twist
One of the funny things about Warehouse 13 on SyFy is that they can have some ordinary objects become dangerous. Take the dodgeball. Normally you try to knock the opponents out of the game by hitting them with the ball. Pete and Myka encounter a dodgeball that multiplies on contact. Meaning if it strikes you one becomes two. Then two becomes three and so on. One can see the obvious problem here. In minutes you could have a dozen or so balls hurling towards you and increasing in numbers after contact. It is never said but it is a nod to the most famous of all such things, the tribble from Star Trek. It multiplies quickly if lots of food is around and nothing checks it (we did learn in Enterprise they do have a predator). A nice nod to the Trouble With Tribbles from Warehouse 13.

Top Chef Returns; My Top Chef Rules

Top Chef has returned to Bravo. Hopefully it will push aside those crazy gals from New Jersey (we get it Danielle, you hate the Manzo family). Meanwhile Top Chef puts its cheftestants through the paces to find out who are just okay, good, and very good. I have decided to repost my rules for Top Chef. It is basically a set of rules the cheftestants ought to consider before serving any dish and derived from watching the show over the past few years. So here it is. The rules are in no particular order and new additions are noted.

1. Going to culinary school goes far on Top Chef
It is a fact that on Top Chef that those who go to culinary school usually do much better than those who do not. The reason is that most cooking schools, especially the well known ones, teach a lot of important techniques that being self-taught you might miss out on. A self taught chef can produce good food but is at a serious disadvantage to someone who has mastered the art and cooks like it is served in a fine upscale restaurant.

2. Never Over Salt! Ever!
Perhaps one of the biggest hits on a dish is to make it too salty. In most cases, it is a death sentence for the chef who prepared it. Usually they ask if you knew it was too salty. If you answer no, they question your palate. If you answer yes, they question why you sent out the dish in the first place. Either way it is bad and puts you on the top of the list to be eliminated.

3. Light touch on seasoning fine; Under seasoning bad.
If too much salt is bad, under seasoning a dish is just as bad. The result is bland tasting food that just needs that extra dash of something to zing it up. It is not as bad as oversalting a dish but if it is combined with lackluster presentation and food that ought to have been better, your now on the list to be eliminated.

4. Do not make something you have never done before.
One thing that sinks aspiring cheftestants is deciding to cook something they have never done before. Unless you are familiar with the ingredients, it is best you stick with what you know. Otherwise expect the judges to be very tough in making you defend the dish if it turns out wrong.

5. Taste Your Food!
This would seem obvious but many cheftestants forget this basic rule and end up on the bottom. It is your last chance to correct something amiss before it ends up before a judge.

6. Check your food for doneness.
Serving raw seafood (unless sushi or a cerviche), raw poultry, or too rare a meat will get you a fast ticket to the bottom. Likewise overcooking will end you at the bottom as well. Never assume it is cooked right by merely looking at it.

7. Avoid complicated dishes unless you tie it all together.
All the components of a dish must go together. Do not, repeat do not, just throw things together and hope for the best. Judges will zing you hard for this and worse if it tastes bad.

8. Never put something on the plate unless it relates to the other components.
One thing that trips up a cheftestant is putting something on the plate that simply does not belong there. Slices of cheese or fruit ought to complement not stick out like a sore thumb.

9. Avoid funky or strange combinations UNLESS you know how to make it work right.
Butterscotch, peanut butter, strong cheeses have been the death knell for a dish and the chef who prepared it. Even if you know how to do it perhaps it would be best to let it pass on this show. Judges are finicky and picky about what they like and dislike. Certain sweet and peanut dishes are good dishes in their homeland but not necessarily in the Top Chef dining room.

10. The Classics Trap: Your dish must recall the original.
Top Chef often asks its cheftestants to take a classic dish and make it something new. What this requires is ingenuity and skill to remake or update it. Remember though it has to hearken back to the classic dish. This is especially true if you have to deconstruct it. All the components of your dish must line up with the original in some way.

11. Crispy good, soggy bad.
This has been the doom of many a meal on Top Chef. When the dish, like a corn dog, has to sealed up and taken elsewhere to be served the risks of it going soggy are high. Steaming occurs while it is enclosed making your once crispy food soggy. Failing to understand this bit of food science will put you high on the list to be sent home.

12. Make sure the dish you serve is as advertised.
A few seasons back one of the cheftestants cooked Coq au Vin. The judges all loved it but there was a problem: it was not Coq au Vin. The dish requires a rooster not just a regular chicken to be served. And since many of the judges were classically trained French chefs and knew what the dish was, they had to give the win to another cheftestant. Likewise one cheftestant called his salad “Waldorf” but the judges pointed out it was not even close to the classic (and not very good either).

13. Overconfidence and arrogance is a dangerous combination.
It seems almost a Top Chef axiom: those that are overconfident and arrogant end up tripping up along the way.

14. Be sanitary.
Thankfully (as far as we know) this has not been a large issue. However it goes without saying that if the judges see you being unsanitary in food preparation or serving they will zing you for it.

15. When cooking food that is a local specialty, make it fresh.
Chicago is known for its sausage. So if you are going to wow the judges and others, you have better make some delicious sausage of your own. Relying on store bought varieties, while safe, will not impress the judges who expected something more.

16. Never serve under rested meat.
The proper resting of meat and poultry is important to insure that flavor does not run out when you cut into it. There is perhaps nothing more sad than to see a perfectly good piece of meat ruined by not properly resting it. There is also a corollary to this: always slice your meats with the proper knife and make sure you do it evenly.

17. Never butcher an already tender cut of meat.
Taking a tender lamb, for instance, and then butchering and cooking it wrong will infuriate the judges and send you home for wasting a perfectly good piece of meat.

18. If not sure, omit the drink
If not required to have either wine or alcohol as part of your dish, skip it. Sometimes it can work in your favor or add little to the dish. Worse is when the drink is so bad that even if the dish was good it sends you to Judge’s Table where they examine you for sanity.

19. Do not try to fool the judges by mixing cooked with undercooked!
Simply put, you are an idiot for trying this. If you think that mixing undercooked potatoes with fully cooked mashed potatoes will not be noticed, you deserve to go home for such a bonehead move.

20. “The oven was not working right” and other excuses.
Most professional chefs have had kitchen equipment go down on them. When it happens, they improvise around it. If your food was over or undercooked due to bad ovens, burners or anything but a genuine power outage it will not cut you much slack with the judges. They can all recite experiences of their own and how they got around it in a pinch (and served the meal to the delight of everyone).

21. Never say that you do not understand what you did wrong at Judges Table.
It will simply convince them you do not belong on Top Chef and send you home.

22. In Restaurant Wars the winners usually produce high quality food because they organize themselves and make sure food is done right. The losers usually are poorly organized and there is no quality check.

23. Be sure whoever is front of the house in Restaurant Wars is comfortable in the roll of seating people, answering their questions, and handling problems. Or you will regret it later at Judges Table.

24. Fresh fish good, frozen bad.
When cooking for an upscale crowd, avoid using frozen seafood in entrees.

Added 2010:

25. The Dessert Trap.
Never cook a dessert you are not familiar with. And never make it so sweet that the essential component is lost. Do not rely on store bought components (like pastries, ice cream, or other prepared items) as a part of your dish.